


Excelsior

by Syan_Mythros



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Gen, implied berry pairing, mentions of combat and wounds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-15
Updated: 2016-12-15
Packaged: 2018-09-08 20:39:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8860189
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syan_Mythros/pseuds/Syan_Mythros
Summary: Drabble fiction explaining Ser Janlenoux's scar and how he obtained it, set pre reactor.  Also offering some implied Adelphel/Janlenoux bits with a few other brothers of the Ward thrown in.  Mention of combat, blood and such.  [This is my personal headcanon for my version of Janlenoux Courcillant on Mateus server. ]





	

Armored feet trudged slowly down the hallway. He felt weary and no small bit dizzy still. The blue haired knight leaned against a wall, a flash of dizziness overcoming him suddenly. Frustration welled in him and his hand clenched into a fist. How could he hope to continue as he was. Already from the chirurgeon’s room he had heard the whispers. The comments from fresh faced temple knights serving in the guard, or visiting others receiving treatment.

 

_‘With such a handicap will he truly be able to serve still?’_

_‘Was he good enough to begin with to be wounded in such a manner?’_

_‘Surely they'll replace him now, a chance for appointment to the Heavens Ward.’_

 

He’d left nearly as soon as he’d awoken. Giving the healers barely enough time to approve his departure. His eye and face stung, surely, but not quite so much as his pride. He felt off as he made his way back his chambers, fighting waves of dizziness the whole way. His balance was off, and his vision left him disoriented. A surge of dizziness swept over him suddenly and Janlenoux reached for the wall to steady himself. His pride wounded as it was could not bear another blow, that of falling to the ground where others could see. The mere thought alone rankled him and after a moment he pressed on. His hair was pulled back and the bandages covered the side of his face where the wound was. His hand clenched to a fist and he pushed away from the wall once more and pressed onwards. Soon enough he reached the door to his quarters and the small iron key unlocked the door. He had little trouble thankfully with the task and once he was inside the door was shut and bolted. 

 

Frustration grew in him and he tossed the key on the small table just inside as he pressed his back against the door. The action was as much to steady himself against the rising dizziness as to ground him. Would he be dismissed? Was he no longer fit to serve? His good eye slammed shut and his head dipped. The healers had told him he would recover, though he would certainly face difficulty with that side. It was possible they said that he would retain minimal vision and possible as well he would lose it entirely. Surely he had made the proper choice. He had taken this hit to himself to spare a more grievous blow, a possibly fatal blow to another. How did that make him less capable? And yet worry and doubt flooded his very being. After what felt like ages he pushed away from the door and staggered to his bed chambers before tumbling down onto the mattress and blankets.

 

~~~

 

Janlenoux had been so lost in his own thoughts that he had never noticed the pair of eyes watching him from an alcove further down the residential area’s hallway. Vellguine shook his head sadly, the man was not that long into his position here and already he heard the lower knights talking of this incident. After having read the official reports there was little doubt in the elder dragoon’s mind that the blue haired knight was a hero and had saved others at the possible cost of his own vision. The second in command made a mental note to keep an eye on Janlenoux, and his partner whom he sought out now. The blonde haired paladin had been by Janlenoux’s side til their commander had sent him to rest, Zephirin almost having to bodily drag the man away.

 

~~~

 

Janlenoux had drifted into an uneasy sleep, exhaustion pulling him into the abyss. It was a fitful rest that had him curling into himself and his hands clenching blankets without being aware. Memories assailed him, biting into him as harshly as the heretic’s weapon that had destroyed his eye.

_  
The battlefield was chaos and temple knights, dragoons and the two paladins were putting up a valiant fight. Bodies of dragons and heretics as well as brave sons and daughters of Ishgard littered the field before the Gates of Judgement. It had been a brazen ploy. A direct attack on the Gates and so the knights and dragoons had responded in kind. When dragons had come to assist the heretics the two paladins had been sent to assist while the other knights kept guard over the Holy See from the inside. Their mission was to boost morale as well as turn the tide. Sheer numbers surged forward against the Ishgardian forces and though they held their ground it wasn’t without heavy losses and a faltering morale._

_Adelphel’s shield slammed into an opponent as he stood almost back to back with Janlenoux. The blue haired knight parried a blow himself before shoving back at his foe. They spared a glance to one another before sharing a small smile and a nod. Faces turned hard again as they looked forward and leapt into the fray. Adelphel’s sword and moves shone and stood out while the sheer force and magnitude of Janlenoux’s countered the dramatic flair of his partner. Both were a force to be reckoned with on the field and morale began to surge upwards once more. In a move that was equal parts skill and cockiness Adelphel went to land the finishing blow on one dragon and in the process left himself open to the heretic who crept in behind him. From his spot Janlenoux saw it and quickly his sword was thrust into the chest of the man in front of him before being yanked free. As Adelphel’s blade struck home at the dragon fighting him the heretic behind darted forward and readied an attack. Quickly Janlenoux closed the distance as a growl slipped free. The heretic turned as shock and surprise crossed their face. Their attack shifted direction and as Janlenoux’s sword tore through their midsection the very tip of their dagger ripped upward through the blue haired knight’s face._

_Blood splattered forth from both as it covered the snowy ground below and painted it red. The heretic sagged, a gurgle coming from the body while Janlenoux staggered back a step. His vision was painted red and a dull thud in his ears as shock flooded his system. He tried to steady himself and soon enough there was a knight before him. Through the roaring of his own head he could vaguely make out words, a snippet here and there. Healers, yes he would need to see the healers. He shook his head slightly at first, there was more to do. There were more threats to eliminate. Surely that took precedence. He did his best to regain his bearings as another two pressed for an advantage on him and the other man. Adelphel was aways away still, unaware of what had transpired. A hot flush tore through Janlenoux and with a snarl he turned toward the threats that approached. A shield slammed into the one while his sword tore into the other violently. He ripped it free as the heretic collapsed and with no hesitation or pause ripped the stunned man almost in two from the force. The knight who had come to assist him watched on in shock and horror as the blue haired knight fought. The shining beacon of the Heavens’ Ward decimated their enemy forces while his partner fought on the other side of the field doing the same. These were the men sworn to protect His Eminence. These were the men all of the city looked up to. The men knights strove to be like and follow in the footsteps of. He could certainly see why now as he watched the blue haired knight though wounded press on._

_Soon enough the tide of battle turned and the rush began to ebb. Janlenoux paused after defeating a smaller dragon and his breath came out harshly. His face felt full of stinging fire still, slightly calmed from it’s earlier pain, yet blood caked the right side of it. His vision was obscured and now with the adrenaline dying he could feel shock and exhaustion take over him. He wasn’t aware so much that it had happened til after but all too soon he had collapsed to his knees in the snow. Others were at his side near immediately, a cacophny of voices he could make little sense of. The blood pounded in his ears and weariness drug him down. Somehow he remembered awareness coming again when he awoke briefly in the night in the infirmary at the Vault. How he had gotten there and when he was unsure, but there beside his bed was a chair pressed very very close and with a body sleeping in it. The blonde hair in the low candlelight told him exactly who it was. He could only see with the one eye, his face bandaged up carefully and a hand went to touch at it gently. There was only a dull throb at the moment, likely the work of the healers though he felt a pang deeper._

_He glanced again to Adelphel. Wonderful Adelphel who was his partner and constant companion, his brother in arms, his lover. The two were near inseparable now, in fact since before their admission to the Heavens’ Ward the two had been close. Closer than friends, closer than brothers yet the blue haired main was afraid to put a term to it almost. Sure enough they shared quarters now, though each still had their own private chambers should they desire it. Most nights saw them curled together, a tangle of limbs in one bed. At first it had been simple comfort by proximity to the other. Solace and peace when the two were together, a comfort from the stress of combat and the continued threat from the Dravanians. At some point something more had blossomed and a faint smile graced Janlenoux’s lips as he recalled their first night together as more than battle companions and friends. They had meshed so well in so many aspects. Each learned things from the other both on the battlefield and off. The hand that had been on his eye reached out almost hesitantly to ghost a touch over those strawberry blonde locks of hair before Janlenoux pulled it back. He eased back down, guilt welling in him for worrying Adelphel. He wanted to wake the man and send him to a proper bed to rest. To even possibly invite him to share this one with him. Yet he could not bare to wake him._

_Sleep slowly pulled him back to oblivion and when he woke next the chair was empty and it was daytime. The healers were there to check on him and shortly after he had departed for his own private chambers a swell of emotions flowing through him. The whispers from others in the infirmary on top of his own worries combined with those whispered words as he made his way through the public areas had him seeking solitude. He needed to think, he needed to figure out what to do. He was given time to recuperate before active duty began again but now doubts swirled in his mind._

 

He awoke with a start, the fire gone save a few embers that lingered. A chill had overtaken the room and he gave a bleary glance to the window. Dark and hinted with flakes of white against the pane of glass. He had slept through the day it seemed and likely missed dinner. A small pang from his stomach confirmed that he had likely indeed missed at least one meal and was feeling it now. He shifted, curling into the blankets more as he looked around his chambers. Everything looked different to him now, the one eye still covered with bandages. Another complaint from his stomach and he slowly moved to the small cabinet by the dining table. He had the items to make tea at least here which would be something. Though he’d have to make a trip to the kitchens for something more substantial.

 

The pace he moved at was slower, between being groggy from sleep and his vision he near crept along. The small latches were grasped and gently pulled open. Inside sat a closed carafe of water, a teapot made to hang from the small arm built into the fireplace and the other bits and baubles for brewing tea. He realized that he needed to work slowly as he noted that his depth perception was off. He frowned before slowly setting to work as he brewed the tea. After he had this in him to at least help abate the growling of his stomach he would make his way to the kitchens and see about a snack. It was no secret that the man loved to cook. Even still he found time to take to the kitchens on occasion and make himself and some of his brothers small treats and snacks. Adelphel received such things regularly especially when he was feeling under the weather. 

 

A small smile curved Janlenoux’s lips at the thought of his blonde haired partner. Steam wafted off his tea as it steeped while he recalled the last time the other knight had caught a bit of a cold. Janlenoux had taken the time after his patrols to make a well balanced soup and sandwich spread which he took to Adelphel’s quarters well past dinner time. The blonde had missed the meal instead opting to stay bundled up in his covers and when the blue haired knight had showed up he could not say whether the blush on his partner’s face was from the fever, the thoughtful gesture, or something else.

 

“Adelphel,” he sighed as he began to stir the tea in it’s final steps of preparation. Janlenoux had no regrets about what had happened. He had saved the man at least a grievous wound if nothing else. Truly he had no regrets there, and would in a heartbeat do it again. Now though he worried as to his own place. Brewing the tea and even the walk to his chambers told him that he would likely have quite the adjustment period. If it took too long or he never regained his skill what then. Surely he was not the first knight to lose something in combat, be it vision, a limb or otherwise. However those knights were temple knights, not charged with the duty as he was of being part of the Archbishop’s personal guard. 

 

He sighed quietly, he would need to work hard. Perhaps harder than he had to even make it this far he suspected. He stared at the mostly empty cup of tea in his hands. It had begun to cool and he could feel the heat ebb from it slowly. As it became more tepid in his grasp he made a vow. An oath to himself. He would not become as that tea. His fires, his ambition, his desire to serve and maintain his place and his pride would not fall to the words of others, to the wound that marred his vision, to his own doubts and insecurities. The cup was set down, the drink having little interest to him now and he moved to retrieve his sword and shield. Their familiar weight were comforting despite the memories of the last time he had held them. The last time they had seen use and served well in their job to protect. The sword was sheathed at his side and the shield strapped to his back as he moved to retrieve the key to his rooms.

 

“First food,” he murmured to himself quietly, “Then...Then I shall overcome this infirmity.”

 

With a small decisive nod he moved from his chambers and to the kitchens. A light repast was made from some of the meat and fruit left from the day. He knew well where things were stored and given what was left he wondered idly if one of the chefs had left it for him. They had come to know him and get used to him though it had certainly been an interesting week at first. It had taken him a good three or four days before he had finally approached one to ask if he could have use of the kitchens at times. Those first days spent sneaking down to learn the placement of things. To his surprise they had not laughed nor scolded and instead shared tips and they had built up a steady friendship over the course of things.

 

That friendship had served him well and now once his small meal was done and the dishes tidied up he moved off to his next stop. The indoor training room. Hours were spent there til dawn came close. Janlenoux found he had much to reacquaint himself with, especially with the bandage. It gave him a blind spot, one he would have to learn to deal with. The dummies in the room offered little fight though they served well to help him work with his depth perception. Soon enough he realized how late it had gotten and with sweat beading his brow and dampening his bandage he tidied up a bit and moved back toward his quarters. Rest was needed though he had the coming day free from duty as well. Part of his ordered recuperation.

 

Once back in his chambers Janlenoux tended to his weapon and carefully replaced them on their rack. Exhaustion tugged at him and for once he climbed straight into bed, little thought for anything save rest at the moment. As he curled onto his side he felt a pang. There was no Adelphel here, no comforting presence to fall asleep next to. He had slept alone on numerous occasions before and yet right now he wanted that comfort. To have the blonde haired knight entwined with him once more as they had on so many other nights, drifting to sleep in one another’s arms. Sleep claimed him swiftly and thankfully he had no more nightmares. When he awoke the next morning he went through his normal routine save the addition of changing his bandages. Certainly not the easiest task and yet he would do it without the aid of others. Breakfast he opted to miss and instead spent the morning working further in his room with that blind spot and how to be aware despite it. With no sparring partner it was not easy yet he pressed on. 

 

That evening he made his way to dinner with the rest though Adelphel was not present. A feeling of disappointment and longing filled Janlenoux. The other paladin had been sent on a mission that day, the orders coming straight from the Archbishop himself. Janlenoux settled in though and tucked into his meal finding a small smile make it’s way to his face as Grinnaux and Paulecrain were telling some wild story at the far end of the table. Some things had not changed and the dragoon eventually roped the blue haired man into their tale after they both scooted down to sit closer to him. It was odd and not the normal sense of camaraderie he had with the two men. Yet at the same time it was strangely comforting and Janlenoux was grateful for it. After a bit Grinnaux moved to get another helping of food and that left the dragoon and the paladin seated. He’d caught himself more than once staring at the eyepatch the pale haired man wore. Scars unhidden by it. Scars he seemed to wear as if they didn’t hinder him.

 

“It’s not the end of the world.”

The quiet words caught Janlenoux off guard and he started slightly, bandaged face turning up to look at the dragoon. He watched and waited and felt a shiver go down his spine as that singular golden eye fixated on him.

 

“It’s not going to hold you back as much as you think it will,” Paulecrain offered quietly before he took a drink from his mug, “What will hold you back is how you look at it.”

 

Janlenoux opened his mouth to question what the dragoon meant but paused before giving a quiet sigh. He knew all too well what the man spoke of. The fact he had noticed what Janlenoux thought were hidden glances to the man’s own scars and wound spoke volumes to how observant he was despite it. Before he could say anything, even a thanks for the strange bit of comfort Grinnaux returned and the rowdy tales began anew until the paladin departed for his chambers. Paulecrain’s words bouncing around his head again and again. Later after his food had settled he took up his sword and shield and made for the training room again, a renewed vigor in his swings and practice. 

_  
‘I will overcome this.’_

_‘This will not hinder me.’_

 

Such mantras repeated in his mind as he worked himself harder and harder. He heard movement, and on his blind side no less. The sound of a blade cutting the air caused him to bring his own sword up to block the attack as he whirled to face his opponent. Blonde hair and blue eyes that twinkled with amusement and something else met his gaze. His visible eye widened in surprise and he pulled back before lowering his weapon.

 

“Adelphel,” he breathed out quietly, his earlier resolve wavering.

 

“What’s with that face my courage?” the blonde asked as his lips quirked into a playful grin, “Surely you don’t think that I would not jump at the chance to train with you. To spend time with you.”

 

“But you must be tired,” Janlenoux replied, a strange warmth in his chest at the thought that despite the blonde’s likely exhaustion he was here, “Your mission today and the late hour…”

 

“Pah, I am not nearly so tired as to pass up on this,” he scoffed and gave a slight shake of his head, “Besides.. Who better to help you than someone who knows you so well...so intimately.”

 

Color covered Janlenoux’s cheeks and he gave a slight nod as a smile curved across his lips. Adelphel responded in kind and the two set to work practicing late into the night. From his spot outside the training room Vellguine gave a slight nod as he watched them begin. He had not heard the words spoken but the fact that the blue haired knight seemed in better spirits now pleased him. He had no doubt that shortly Janlenoux would be both in better spirits and back on the field with little hinderance from his wound. A smile on his face the elder dragoon walked toward his own chambers, content to settle in for the night.


End file.
